Wounded Heart

It's been a long while since I last blogged. Totally lost the touch of it. The combined feeling of wholesomeness and relief after sharing my thoughts only. Now I'm really troubled. Even though many felt happy for me; I too felt happy but the persons I'm closest to are not.

I didn't get First Class, I know I'm not the First Class graduate kind because first of all, I'm not studious and secondly I am not quite used to the teaching system in UK. I might be enjoying myself a little too much in the UK with all the temptations being the people, music and traveling. Nevertheless I knew what I had to do and I aimed to secure a Second Upper.

After the exams, I thought that EU Law would significantly affect my marks. I was even more afraid that my Dissertation would pull me down to a Second Lower because well, I seriously could not predict my marks. Above all, I did a LONG DISSERTATION which could go either way to secure my degree or not.

When I told my mother about my results today, she wasn't too ecstatic. She was like: "Are you satisfied with your results? Then, that's good."

I had to be satisfied with my results and I was incredibly happy to say that I've got a First Class in my Dissertation. However she didn't seem to share the same joy that I felt. Was she expecting me to get a First Class?

I can't get the conversation out of my head. I couldn't reach my dad for words of comfort. My brother is of NO USE! He didn't even ask me about my results. 叉烧仔!!!

Promise to Myself

So the wait is over. I am back to the blogging sphere! The weeks have been horrendously filled with nerve wrecking errands and worst of all, my dissertation. Feel free to download and read it by clicking this link: Carly's Dissertation

In conjunction to my countdown of 22 days till the final exams (finally, I'm graduating for my degree!); I made a 10 Resolutions before Exam checklist. Normally people would make New Year Resolutions as such but not for me. No, no, no. Desperate times call for desperate measures my friends.

Carly's Before the Exam Resolutions:

1. Stop making plans, start making sense. Make a study plan and stick to it. For real.
2. Eat healthily and sleep early during this period.
3. Remember to call and email parents just so not to make them worry too much.
4. Buy an Evidence Law textbook. Seriously it's time to get one!!!
5. Stop rambling and fretting about the misery of revisions. Get a life!
6. Cut down on my movies and TV series; I can always continue after the exams.
7. To finish my pre-BPTC errands by end of next week. It's a must!
8. To use up one stack of my A4 papers and 3 pens to the least. I brought so much but finished none -yet!
9. No more random fits or bitter emotions to deviate myself from books. Don't hate them, try loving them!
10. Lastly, to make myself study them books for at least 3 hours a day without fail so I can have the remaining 21 hours to myself.
    

The D Word

I didn't get much sleep from last night. As a matter of fact, I didn't sleep at all. A sudden spark of inspiration behind my head to alter my dissertation. And then it just wouldn't go away. I finally suffered from a writer's block at about 6am and went out to the kitchen to make chili con carne. How random of me.

During my brunch, I decided to send my finalized piece to my supervisor. And then I saw the email from the School of Law. My supervisor got her arm broken and she wouldn't be able to meet me personally for the discussion. I couldn't believe it.

I wish her well and I've just decided to delay my work on dissertation again. It has much more room for improvement. I hope I can carve a smile on her face when she reads it.