Be-ing.

I've started drinking coffee on a regular basis lately. Well, it's because I finally ran out of condensed milk and I was lazy to go shopping. I know the supermarket is just 3 minutes walk from my flat but spending less on unhealthy food is a blessing-in-disguise for my sheer laziness. Coffee has very little effect on me and I do drink strong, dark coffee. Without milk, I drank them black with sugar. Wow, my tastebuds is reintroduced to the watery taste of coffee.

I make them in the morning, keeping the coffee bag for a half-cup by evening. Oh the morning cup of coffee is like some kind of elixir for the enhancement of concentration. I can read and do my work without fail for several hours! Then I'll make brunch and dinner, chat with friends and family online; gaming for an hour or so before taking my half cup of coffee and read again. I hope this lasts... I need it.

So me and my client were chatting away as usual her early bird hours meet my late nights. We have bumped into each other a few times online which was quite spooky the first few times... kind of used to it now. But when we chatted just now we could even think of the same things. Sunday morning and Maroon 5... then:


19 times EPL champions. Sheer luck.

No Direction.

I put Metric's "Fantasies" album on a loop this evening while gaming away. The first song of the album is "Help I'm Alive". Couldn't help but to ponder upon the lyrics. The lead singer of the band actually wrote the song after some soul searching journey in Argentina; kind of related what I was telling a friend. Soul searching and you should go ohm... ohmm... ohmmm...

##If you're still alive my regrets are few
If my life is mine what shouldn't I do?
I get wherever I'm going, I get whatever I need
While my blood's still flowing and my heart's still
Beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer##

Her lyrics are like some kind of modern poem. Strange phenomenons start happening again. Cicadas swarm reappeared and terrorized Southern US after hibernating for 13 years. Southern America was met with tornadoes and serious floods before this. Then strong earthquakes happened in Murcia, Spain. The fragile and helpless me can just watch all these disasters happen one by one; baffled by inexplicable phenomenons and remind myself of 2012.

Help, I'm alive.

The Ringing Bliss.

Oh it's Mother's Day already in Malaysia! Of course in the UK we celebrate two separate dates for Mother's Day. While Hallmark Cards rule the US; in the UK it's Clinton Cards so I have a theory that it is all but a scam to sell more cards. Of course, I meant that as a joke. Mother's Day is always the day I'll shower my mummy dearest with a gift and treat her to a meal outside. Interesting enough, I only start celebrating Mother's Day for real after high school. That's when I really appreciated her effort and what she had sacrificed for her children.

Being the eldest, priority is put on me. I remember my mum making sure that she could fetch me from school and so my brother had to switch to afternoon class; taking the bus to school. Then the tuition timings and everything, my mum will definitely be there 10 minutes before the class started and 10 minutes before class end. Then she had always objected us eating from outside and always cook for us even though it's very hard to cook for a party of 3. When I said I want to go to any restaurant in town to eat she'd object to the idea and scold me. She wouldn't let me join any friends to hang out in the town and though I was not for one who likes loitering around... she was really strict to me.

The amount of strictness went on and on... no magazines (smuggled for 3 years), no VCD/DVDs (till I bought them with my own money), no internet till Form 4, no late night TV (except for Thursday night) and definitely no truancy. Naturally, I rebelled against her commands but not in the extreme manner. Just enough to make her get angry with me daily.

As I grew past the high school years, I realized what she did was for my own good but at the same time I learned although some of her methods were wrong (tyranny); I must learn to appreciate and forgive for she is my only mother. I begin to learn not to argue with her so much as to communicate and explain to her my predicaments in certain issues.



This year is one of the most challenging year yet for me... she was always there to support my decisions and everything I do. I miss talking to her daily and let her nag on. One more week till she goes home and I hope all is good for them there in Indonesia now.

Smell Fish.

My new obsession: Jeremy Wade (the best angler in the world).

I started learning more about fish as I arrived in the UK; for the sake of cooking. Amazingly, it was the "Fishing" action in The Sims 2 that really made me learn more names. I have always wondered how am I going to survive grocery shopping in Malaysia's markets. I cannot even relate the names to their looks! Not just fish but also vegetable! That's the fallacy of supermarkets... buying after you read the labels.

I haven't fished properly in my life even though I grew up frequenting the jungle my dad worked in. Most of his friends there are anglers and hunters. Never thought of joining them though. Anyways, fishing is still not something I'd want to pursue. Especially after watching Jeremy Wade's show... I can imagine myself getting pulled into the water by the fish instead of me pulling them out of water.

This guy's show managed to make me feel eerie. Starting with the number of jumbo catfish he caught then the piranhas... but shockingly he revealed to the world that there are actually fresh water stingray! Not just in the secluded part of the world but in ASIA! They are so huge and actually killed humans *gasp*. Anyways, this week he shocked the audience again by hooking up his first SAWFISH.

Quite a tame fish and this sawfish actually survived both shark and crocodile attacks (living in fresh water).

Not so bad, this week's episode was a total eye-opener and I didn't feel sick to my stomach. Naturally I moved on to another great show, Iron Chef America. Guess what, it was battle fish. Heck, they introduced me to another creepy sea creature; WRECKFISH. My jaw dropped.

Yes, Iron Chef Morimoto was using a chain cutter to deal with the fish!!! The fish was SO HUGE and scary!!! Seeing its white flesh though, made me hungry.

Coming Clean.

Check the calendar. Oh it's been a week plus since I've gotten back from Wales. A week plus since the misery has begun for me. Not so much of misery as I thought it'd be. It's just one week without random coleslaw takeaways from the Domino's pizza located 5 minutes from my flat; no random online shopping sprees and more importantly, surviving the whole ordeal taught me new things.

I can really survive with less than £50 a month (on food). I find my bills a little too excessive? Why do I need two handphones... why do I need higher bandwidth internet... why do I need mobile broadband... Although I put all of them to good (and often, full use), but it's not a reason for me to waste away my hard earned money.

Just to list out the amount of *extreme* loots I've gotten since my PSW visa:

A micro four thirds camera; Panasonic G2.

DKNY's Town and Country handbag (scarf fever)

The one and only Converse All Star Lady edition.

*Another?* pair of Ray Bans; special edition wayfarers.
(bidded it cheap from eBay)

Personalized NikeID futsal shoes.

The watch of my dreams... DKNY ceramic chronograph.

Latest loot before downfall; Panasonic mega zoom camera
(bidded it cheap from eBay)

I was thinking of selling one of these, should my financial problems loom but I knew deep down in my heart I wouldn't; by any chance! I was quite fortunate to have spent like 40% of my salary on non-necessities because if not I'd have more savings in my current account leading to greater downfall! Reason being my bank account is current only; not savings and thus the bastards got to empty my bank account! Wonder when I'll get all my stolen funds back? 3 months? Or more? As long as I get them back I can wait.

Before any of you readers start worrying about me, my parents decided to send me my allowance for September earlier... but no matter how early it would be in mid-May. I have £40 left for 2 more weeks. Can't believe I'm actually going to make it.