Answers. Pronto!

Ideas came pouring out whenever I least expect them. I've locked myself out from the world for the weekend. Life in solitary, what would it do to me? Then I recalled how in films prisoners would count their days with marks left on the prison wall; etched by spoons. Life is miserable that way, isn't it? And I haven't been keeping a diary since early high school. They'd always told me that writing a diary would improve my language. Heck, I didn't know what to write about my life!

It'd seem that I acted like a tortured soul. Don't really what my next step is going to be, don't know what initiative I have to make to end this prolonged hiatus. I've always told people: "For every breathing second of my life, I'm wasting away my parents' money."

I seemed to be living a life many would envy. Without any consequences from my parents. I started reflecting on this situation after a heated conversation with my brother. I was reprimanding him for his bad mid-term results when I was the one who had to take a gap year here. Who am I to give him a scolding when nobody had given me one? Of all my personal failures; this was the worst. For my brother to make an example out of me; out of spite; was the last straw and I blocked him off. Inevitably; a nuisance must be contained.

Life isn't that simple, right? The fact that we have full control of our lives is a difficult one to live with. What could've been? What should've been? What ought to be? Only He knows. For He has plans for all of us.

One more week. My questions will be answered. The wait is killing me.